i’ll remember your promises x)

show me.. convince me tt uve changed.. tt ure still the one i fell in love with.

Like the gentle wind that caresses me,
like the sweet smell of the rising sun.

Like the touch of a feather,
like the taste of chocolate.

Like running in the fields ever so freely,
like tanning by the beach…

I hope to see you there when I’m old and wrinkly,
I hope to play with your hair…

I hope to see you there when I wake,
I hope to hold your hand…

Hands, hearts, voices and echos…

I wanna be with you.

do u believe there are cheap bastards around? the kind that pounce the moment they get wind that im single. suddenly i get asked on all sorts of dates. really SUDDENLY.

its hilarious.

zzz.

me: i suddenly feel v.popular
wayne: cause u broke up?
me: ya
wayne: wa so arrogant
me: -_-”

dont mind me. im ranting.

I thought I was good.

I thought I was great.

I thought no one knew better than me.

I was wrong, so wrong.

Sometimes, it takes someone on the outside to let us know whats going on. Many times, we are like little pieces of a huge jigsaw - we never see the big picture.

Just thought I’d say thanks to Gregory. Sincerely, thanks a million.

I keep finding myself back here, time and time again, typing out one or two sentences, a few lines, then shaking my head at the shallowness, the inimportantness of it, deleting it away, and staring at an empty screen.

I do have a lot to say - but things I don’t really want to say here. Things I don’t want to say anywhere, anymore, but typed time and again on a computer screen, never to be saved. Erased from memory.

I wished you had cherished our relationship more when we were together. Maybe then u wldn’t have acted the ways u did. Did it never occur to u that all your actions would someday have a consequence? Or did u think I wld just keep accepting your apologies, letting it go and running back to u for more?

Perhaps this really is my limit. Because this time I’m sure, I’ve stopped crying, I’ve stopped looking back.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
- Psalm 62:1-2

A friend once told me a story… I hope you’ll allow me to share it with you…

There lived a young girl, named Lana, who went about life like any other girl her age. She’d go to school and return straight home on a daily basis, and on her way home she’d have to pass through a playground.

One day, she got scolded pretty badly by her teacher and subconsciously, she cried all the way home. While walking through the park, she was met by a young boy slightly older than her. Feeling concerned, he went over and asked her if she was alright. All he got in reply was silence.

He took her to the slide and lay himself upside down… (imagine someone going down the slide head first.)

Then he told her this.

‘You know, my dad used to say that if you lay upside down your tears wun be able to come out. That way, you wun cry! Why don’t you give it a shot?’

Lana looked at him and smiled. From that day on, whenever she felt like crying, she’d turn her head upside down to prevent the tears from flowing…

**I’m not that good with story telling as you can see… but you get the main idea…**

I’ve been turning my head upside down for days now… but the tears just keep flowing whenever I think of you…
Why doesnt this work for me?

If someone came up to you and said that you could have 1 wish, what would it be?

It could be

1) a wish for a thousand more wishes
2) a wish for a brand new car
3) a wish to be the worlds richest man
4) a wish for the sexiest, prettiest girl to be your wife…

and the list could go on forever. I meanFOREVER!!!

But if I were given that one wish… I’d wish for more time… more time with you…

perhaps you don’t remember…

he never did push you again…

he never did hit you again…

he never did shout at you again…

he never did chase you out again…

and then, perhaps because he didnt do all of that, you forgot he had feelings too…

perhaps…

you forgot how he changed for you…

you never realised how much he loved you…

you never realised how much it hurt when you used harsh words on him…

perhaps you didnt know how many people he told that he was to marry you…

It all seemed ok, for a while.

The sun shone and the sky was blue, not a cloud in sight. Trees blossomed and flowers poked their heads out from beneath the ground, which had softened, allowing them through..

I let myself think that this was it. This was my happy ever after. And now the storm’s set in, heavier and darker than ever before.

The air suffocates, the rain keeps on falling, like the tears down my cheeks.

The sky is dark, I can’t see further than a couple of inches ahead of me.

Everything is so unsure, so uncertain.

Back in my darkest moments, when the thoughts of climbing into that hole and hiding there until I can no longer feel are here once more.

I cry as I pray, asking Him why He’s making me go through all this. Why did I have to survive, when surely I should be dead? Why do I have to keep going? Why can’t someone take the pain, the fear and the terror away from me so I can cope again?

I wake and cry, and the tears carry on in dribs and drabs all day through. Sometimes they’re little tears, falling down my cheeks, indicating my unhappiness only to those who stop, look and notice. Other times, great sobs shake my body, as I fall to the ground, crying, pleading for it all to stop.

I doubt myself. Once upon a time I wanted to get better; I thought we’d get better. I was even led into a false sense of security, where, for a while, it all seemed like it was going to be ok.

Then the sky fell in and the storm started up again.

It seems, whatever happens, wherever I go, the storm’s never far behind.

And it hits me when I least expect it.

And every time it hits, it hits harder.

Until, one day, I’m sure - it’s going to kill me.