hello hello! hmm.. just as jam has mentioned, ive gotta new blog! beams. i wanted to consolidate all my writing and works together and i took it as a challenge to dabble with html and templates- i did it! im so happy. hee.

not to worry, i’ll occasionally still write here:) although my writing isnt as exciting as jams- whos a fantastic writer and motivator. im so proud of him hee.

yup! u can also find me at http://missancellatan.blogspot.com/ now.. do visit me often so i wont be lonely:) and drop me a msg when ure at it!

much love, cella.

Once upon a time there lived a boy who knew how to make the sun laugh. He knew what songs to sing to make the birds chirp, what steps to dance to make the leaves fly. All he needed to do was whistle and the winds would join in, turning his world into a huge fantasy.

But that was once upon a time.

Somehow, in the blink of an eye, he seemed to have lost it all. No matter how fast he ran, the sun just didn’t stop. No matter how hard he swam and how high he climbed, he just didnt seem to be able to reach the end of the rainbow. The birds wouldnt chirp and the leaves wouldnt fly.

Every new morning is a nightmare, every new evening is a cry.

What it feels like to laugh again, it’s something he wants to try.

This title probably sounds odd to some, corny to others and to a minority group of people, this might even make you feel irritated. Before you stop reading and think of me as a himbo/lame ass/irritant, I just need you to give me 10min of your time and let me explain my case!

Punishments are a distraction to the problem at cause.

Woah. That sounds super cheem eh! I sound like Dr. Psychologist don’t I? Ok. I’ll stop. =)

What I want to put across is this. When kids, people and anyone at all misbehave, punishments are usually given to ’solve’ the problem! Many of us think that just by hitting, scolding or shouting at the person at fault, we will be able to get him to realise his mistake and hopefully change for the better. However, is that always the case?

Think back to the times when you were younger, even shorter perhaps, and you did something wrong. What did your parents do? What was their first reaction? For me, I recall them always pulling me by the hand saying ‘I thought I told you not to touch that! Look at what you’ve done!’ and then smack.

The funny thing was even though they had punished me to make me ‘realise’ my mistakes, I would do the same thing again! I mean who wouldn’t want to play with every single toy in the toy department? I know I would!

When your parents hit you (come on, they must have hit you at some time or another), what was your initial reaction? Did you suddenly realise that you had been acting all silly and wrong? Did you genuinely mean that promise? That you wouldn’t touch anything again? My guess is no!

You probably felt angry at them for hitting you, angry at them for not understanding and not letting you play! Worse still, depending on the kind of punishment you got, you might have even hated them! (I know I did a couple of times… )

So is punishment really the best thing to do? I think not.

In my opinion, a consequence is alot better! By explaining to the kid the consequence, you’re actually giving him an option, a choice.

‘If you don’t do this, you’ll not be able to do that.’ or ‘If you don’t stop doing this, you’re not going to get that’ kind of thing.

‘Got difference meh?’ I know that’s what a couple of my Singaporean friends will be thinking. Although subtle, the difference is there. In fact, the effect of this tiny little difference is huge!

Let me give you an example. Lets say you’re in a supermarket shopping with your kids. One of them decides to play ‘police and thief’ and they all start running around the place. (My goodness!) At this point in time, you have 2 options.

1) Hit them in public or at home. Tell them that they were naughty and that they deserved it.
2) Tell them that they have a choice. That they can either stop playing or face the consequence: ‘Tie’ them to the trolley(using whatever string you have) so that they cannot run from you. And the next time you want to go out, and they insist on coming along, tell them that because they ill-behaved the last time, you’re not going to bring them out.

This is just one of the many ways I found out on how to deal with kids. As you can see, this concept applies to adults too!

Hitting someone is probably the easiest thing to do. It’s probably more ’satisfying’ too but what does it achieve? Nothing. I admit that its not easy to control your feelings and use option 2: explain the consequence. But if you think about it, option 2 will not only make you more well-liked, it will also stop any future grudges or ill-sentiments.

sorry I hit you yet again.