=) yes. i’m finally off my arse and writing again! i’m literally smiling as i’m writing this post. i’m not kidding! there were so many occasions when i really wanted to sit down and blog but i guess i was just being too un-hardworking… (what a bum!)

LIFE and the BIG GUY up there has really been treating me really fine these couple of month. work’s a blast especially working with 2 great guys who’ve literally seen me grow up… (ahhh, yes… time does fly and i do age…) these are 2 guys with drive, determination and dreams. thanks to them, i’ve managed to get off my ass and start dreaming big too. so kudos to you, fabian and liam.

and then there’s my lil pooh bear a.k.a fatty a.k.a fei zai. sometimes love really does smack you in the face (or scratch you in the arm… haha…) but i guess its really worth it. cheery, caring, understanding, easy to please, in love with me. need i say more? =P

i don’t really want to do a verbal vomit currently so i guess i’ll keep this post short and end off now. speaking of which… i think i’m fat - like really fat… bah. need to start running, swimming and biking again.

you know what they say - he who sits down, gets fat… (ok ok, i made that up…)

im finally done i think.
with lectures and exams all behind me.
done with boring tutorials (yes… theres a reason why I slept sooo much in class)
done with yucky canteen food.

as i take the leap into life,
as much as i can plan and plan,
i really wonder what exciting challenges await me.

will i be the next nobel prize nominee?
will i be the next grammy award winner?
or will i just be the next person who comes by and touches your heart?

whatever the future holds, im ready to take that leap i guess.
cos someone once said,

“being a winner is not how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit over and over and still have the strength to stand up after that!”

brilliant isn’t it? a lesson about life in a movie.

well the worsts not over yet.
still have to pass my jap exam before i can join the ranks of those before me.
those who don the blue cape and look absolutely smart.
professing to the world, that im coming to make my mark.

watch out world, here i come!

to the one i call my little one,
im really sorry for all the things ive done.
to the one i call my little one,
you really didn’t deserve any of this, to be exact, none.

im sorry i did those things behind,
im sorry i betrayed you.
im sorry i didn’t stand in your shoes,
im sorry, i really am.

if only time could be undone, i’d go back to the day i was one.
i’d whisper in his ear so softly and gently,
telling him of all things to be done.

“love her with all your heart mind and soul,
hold on to her with all your might.
be daring with her, be bold you must.
look at her with conviction,
and then gently, tell her that we are one.

because anyone else doesn’t matter to you,
no one else will.
don’t waste your time searching high and low,
because from 13, you will know.”

don’t give up faith and hope.
don’t lose sight of what we have.
keep your head up again i say,
because world, here we come.

i don’t want us to turn into monsters. i don’t want to bring out the worst in us. its tough to forgive and even tougher to forget. im thankful for you, yesterday, today, tomorrow. hold my hand and walk with me, because im not letting go. i love you truly, my little one.

and so, there they were, lying in bed. two tired bodies side by side. both sweating and heaving hard because of the blistering heat. the heat of the quarrel. the quarrel that nobody knew how it started, and no one knew what it was about. it was just about winning. he had to have his way and she hers. so although they were barely 2 inches apart, their souls were on opposite ends of the earth. he breathing fire and she ice. the air was heavy making it hard to breathe. he got up, fumbled in the dark and made his way toward the other end of the room. he felt for the switch and hit the button. and just like magic the air condition came on. the soft purring of the machine and cool gentle breeze of air cooled them down. just like that. they were inseparable.

and in that instant he grabbed her in his arms and pulled her close, burying his face in her chest. and in that instant he felt like nothing could tear them apart. not the violent storms, the huge gale or the roaring thunder could shut the words out. the words which rang so clearly in his head. “i cant live without you… i cant live without you…” they just repeated themselves like monks chanting the mantra. what she was thinking about he didnt know. all he knew was that he had to be man enough to keep on loving her.

what a crazy thing i did tonight, a whim, a thought, then a reality. the blast of the cool night air. the sound of my spinning wheels. endless tarmac stretching out in front of me. i thought my journey would never end. pedal pedal pedal i keep telling myself. youre almost there i think out aloud. and as i turned the corner, there you were, you ugly building. lab at 11pm. you’ve gotta be kidding.

in and out of the lab in a jiffy, likened to a little quickie. i got onto her again, this time  thinking, how did i end up talking myself into this. bleh. i thought of riding the mrt home. but the sheer thought of me holding onto my bike, clutching the railings, riding the NEL, inviting obnoxious stares, just told me to pedal pedal pedal.

down the road i went, Adam, Lornie and finally you. yes. you. thanks for supper. thanks for the company. thanks for the sweet evening, albeit a simple meal. youre really a sweetheart, a godsend.

aching back, tired neck, sleepy body. out.

for those of you who still dont get what im saying… i did the craziest thing tonight. i cycled all the way to school and back. a whopping 50km. bah. makes me wonder how those guys do a Round Island trip. makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it. 

just thought i’d write a short post today regarding what i saw which i thought was absolutely sweet. it put a smile on my face, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. i saw this 2 mornings ago just as i was getting back home.

the car rolled to a stop right in front the gate of the school. the small boy rubbed his tired eyes and let out a long sigh. he unbuckled his seat beat and leaned forward. his father gently put his hand on his son’s outstretched forehead giving him a tiny pat. “off you go to school now son, i’ll always be right behind you.” the small boy smiled his cutest and out of the car he went. the father then did a u-turn and off he went.

lucky kid.

that made me think of my days when i was younger, when my dad would get up at 620am every morning just to send me and my younger brother to school. how we didn’t manage to see it then, that despite the fact that he always worked late nights, my dad never failed to drag himself out of bed to get us to school.

so i guess, in front of all who still come by (I think my dad occasionally pops by too), i just want to say “thanks dad, you rock.”

ive been wanting to blog about so much recently but time hasn’t been kind to me. he just kept on running and never turned back to look at me once. now, im finally sitting myself down and doing something about it. i finally caught up with you dude.

i feel like an old man. i went by “Cheers” earlier today and decided to get a set of the “Straits Times”. im now sitting in front of my computer, accompanied by the soft gentle purring, sipping warm, aromatic Nescafe and just doing basically zit. im already feeling guilty as i type this. what the heck, i need a break from my everyday monotonous life anyways.

speaking of which, my monotonous-fyp-life has just gotten worse. heres a quick breakdown why.(im not sure who’s even going to be interested to read this but what the heck, im ranting)

2 weeks ago :
My lab supervisors comes to me and says this. “Well done Jeremy! I think you should be done with your fyp by the end of the week! Congrats!”
I’m overcome with immense joy because hell fyp has finally come to an end! No more going back to school to draw samples on saturdays and sundays, no more lab politics, no more bullshit superficial formalities.

1 week ago :
“Oh Jeremy… you’re results seem to be less satisfactory than anticipated… Maybe we should re-do the experiment again for another cycle. (one cycle = one week of torture going back to school daily)
At this point im thinking to myself, “what?!?! another week?!?! its not my fault my experiments are not giving consistent results! I cant control the way my fungi grow!” but… to be professional, i play the ohhh-its-ok-ive-got-nothing-else-to-do-but-my-fyp guy.

the day before… (when i think for the 2nd time that my fyp is truly over… you really have to read this part)
my supervisors sit me down and tell me this. “erm… jeremy, we feel that your work isn’t substantial for an fyp report. we understand you did a lot of work but the work you did does not sound impressive when you write it down. in fact, it sounds like you did nothing at all. don’t get me wrong, we both know you did a lot of work….”
yea right. i reluctantly agree anyway, knowing that failure to do so will imply mediocre grades. damn i hate the power struggle.

here comes the juicy bit
i bump into my professor yesterday and we managed to exchange a few words. in the midst of our brief conversation, he told me this which left me totally shocked, in awe, disgusted… this is what he said.
“Jeremy, ***** tells me that you’re taking interest to carry on the experiments into the next phase of development. im glad that you’re doing so.”
what?! me?! taking an interest?! what?! i didn’t volunteer for this! they’re using me! free labour! protection of human rights! freedom of expression! i want to break free! w@#$%^!

what can i say. thats life. watch your back for the coloured, tainted person.

just a short post to upload a couple of photos I took recently. have a tonne of stuff on my mind i really want to talk about right now but my body is really deprived of rest! (still recovering from Bike Quest 08. I’ll talk about that more when i get the pics!)

anyways, as promised, here are more pictures! (just a couple more… still busy re-sizing the rest… excuses. heh.)

On a chilly night high above at esplanade

good ol’ me!

sweet summer romance!

that’s all for now. will check back in again with more pics soon! promise! till then, good night and take care! =)

ive been running quite a bit lately. i must say i love the time it gives me to think. as my footsteps rhythmically pound against the pavement, like the banging of drums, as my heartbeat quickens, like the chanting of a raving crowd, as my head becomes clear, like a cloudless starry night. i find myself thinking a lot about you lately.

its sweet how you walk, funny when you talk. its lovely when you tumble and especially warm when you smile. its awesome how you get along with just about anyone, its thoughtful that you care. it hurts when you get hurt, and troubles me when you disappear. and despite all the uncertainty, i find myself always thinking of you. you hip hop, boy band, ballerina, teacher kinda animal. =)

sometimes its easy to miss an angel like you. small petite, gentle, you. but i havent stopped thanking HIM for putting you there in my life. and now i just really wanna say ai-shi-te-ru. (and yes, i do know how to write this too.)

2008 has been treating me excellent so far! ive managed to successfully get on my training regime for the triathlon, ive managed to pick up golf and im going to get a new bike real soon! just thought id write this post to my lil one, to thank her for standing beside, behind and in front of me, constantly being my pillar of strength, my motivation, my goal-setter and someone who keeps me really grounded. =) as much as i don’t say it, thanks dearie. thanks for making my life a blessed one. really.

some people wish for the stars, others wish for the skies.
and yet with you, sometimes i look up at the heavens above,
and thank him for putting you in my life.

rocking on,
jem